Unexpected

Finally haematology class is over. I don't hate it but maybe because after the long 3 months of holiday, my brain didn't get use to a long-almost-15-hours-class non stop with added hours of laboratory experiments  (yes, clinical pathology class is kind of new to us) I accepted that i didn't study well this time, and i accepted that i study all of them two days before the final examination, and it went pretty.. messed up. But hey, at least it's not as messed up as ObGyn class last time!

Life has been complicated lately. Yes, complicated.
Too much feelings involved and since i'm not used to it, i kind of didn't know what to do. People came and gave me opinions, but well.. it really didn't make it easier. I almost wish i could throw it all away like i used to, but this time, it won't go -Because deep in my brain, i know i won't let it go-


I'm trying to be sober, but everytime one thing related to this/him (yeaah, 'him') appeared for a second, they're flooded all over my head. Feelings and thoughts. I feel like i'm completely drunk. It's like everything is different, so different. I guess, everything what they said about 'when you're in love, every song sounds make sense' is right.

Of course this is not the first time to me. I've been trying to.. not feel (more precisely, avoid) to this kind of feelings almost for 5 years. I didn't say that i hate being in love, it just that.. i'm afraid of falling down. 

I write things, stories (well, most of them sad stories) but it seems that eventhough i wrote about morals and how you dealt with heartbreaks or deaths, it seemed that i do not understand it that much. Specially when i am the one in that position.

Althea from Endymion

 As what we wrote in Endymion, when Althea finally accepted that Flux really gone, she said

 "No matter how much you stretch your hand out, there’s something that you can’t touch"

 and i believe that she's true.  

There's something greater, something that cannot simply explained by logic, eventhough i know that such thing as emotions and feelings are controlled by our lymbic system. I can't just run away from all of these feelings, and avoid them. That'd make me as a coward. 
This time, i want to choose. I want to make my choice, and no matter what happened, i'll stood and face it. I didn't want to run away again.

 See? that's how i got really drunk this time, as you can see in my writing -__- i hate to say it. But well, i don't know what to do anymore. It's not that there'll be someone read this and give opinions, but sometimes there are times i just want to write things.

Oh, and also, beside that long useless-chit-chat of something 'blurry', i got a few song that stucks in my head and everytime i have a spare time, i just grabbed and sing it along with my ukulele, here's my recent playlist :

Everybody's Changing

La Vie en Rose (Christin Milloti ver.)

Creep

Summertime Sadness

Dear John

Perahu Kertas

High and Dry - Radiohead

Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner

Dekat di Hati - RAN

Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya - Tulus 

Adelaide Sky - Adhitia Sofyan

I don't always listened to Indonesian music but when i do, that means it is really good x) Both for Tulus and RAN are really good, i'd give them 4.5 of 5 since i love all of their music. You should try to listen it to!

Face Drawing

Recently i got an obsession in drawing men's face using pencilcolor. I just couldn't resist to draw that handsome looking face in my sketchbook >-< and here's some of the results :

Vini Uehara

Rafael Gaidzinski

A few of my artworks

What's your obsession recently, folks? ^3^

Muskerwil XIII

I'm now officially part of the major team of Muskerwil XIII!
It's actually not that exciting but well.. i'm a bit proud, since it's kind of 'big' event for me :3

so, what's muskerwil actually? The term is from 'Musyawarah Kerja Wilayah' and it's part of ISMKI (Ikatan Senat Mahasiswa Kedokteran Indonesia) agenda. So, basically, the head of the council from each medical faculty are combine in one place to decide things and.. i dunno, decide somekind of rules (still didn't get a lot about it, sorry. Maybe later)

Whatever it's, i'm still beyond excited!

Muskerwil XIII

And oh, here's also a sneak peek of the logo i designed for Muskerwil XIII !

you must be wondered what's the meaning of ex unitae vires, right?

EX UNITAE VIRES

Unity is Strength

*thanks for wikipedia for that*

I'm soo happy they use my logo eventhough it's way too simple (considering looking back to the previous muskerwil the logos are soo merry & colourful) and right after that, i got a lot of 'A REALLY LOT OF' task to finish just in one day!
and what i mean a lot of is, making x banner, banner, brochure, poster, stamp, template for proposal, and cover.. and yeah, that's hell of a task! (my senior is just.. *sigh* but he's so kind and really helpful in the making of everything! )

Muskerwil XIII

above is my design for the backdrop. Everything i created was super simple considering i only have 1 hour to finish this (and so i finished it in only 15 minutes using corel draw)

Mako

Before i started everything, i would like to say really sorry for the lack of updates! I'm so busy with my new life as medical student right now  so i hope you're okay with that :') 

Anyway, i just finished my mid-block-exam (i dunno what's the term in english ._.) it's really different from mid-semester exam, because in medical faculty, we have 3 blocks in one semester. So, we have... about 6 examination in one semester (i know, that's a lot)

Well, but afterall, there's only one thing i can't keep off from my daily routine. 

Drawing.

It's too bad that i don't have much time for writing, so the only 'favourite' thing left right now is only drawing :' because i can still doodling in my spare time, and yeah, that makes me feel better.

Oh, did i tell you that my new hobby is 'reading' now? 

*laugh* definitely not 'studying', because i only read 'medical-related-things' that i like but i think i finally found my place now :') i have no idea why in the world i really like all of this 'medical-thingy' but let's just say this is a good sign.

 And well, this is part of my artwork from a month ago, 

Mako.

She's my original character from my side project that i didn't publish yet 

*i hope she'll, soon* 

Mako : in process

Mako : in process

 This one above is my favourite one :3 She looks calm and really neat compared to the one below, which is more dark & gloomy :-/

Mako : finished

To be honest, i don't really like the 'finished' result, LOL.

Remedium

Yay! New project, new story, new concept.
This is the collaboration of me & fifi, and how we're dealing with our new life : university!
Finally we made it, a story that related to our major, medical faculty (me) and architecture (fifi) :'
 i can't believe finally we really made it, and we still have the time to make our fourth novel.

REMEDIUM.

What if, one day...you are the one who hold the life of your lover?

Remedium

Samuel knew when the first time he laid his eyes on her in the emergency room, he'll never forget it. It was innocent and hopeless eyes. Black and deep, but somehow pure, and the only one who has that eyes is Ara Senna Kamala, a 19 y.o girl which is still in her fourth semester in Architecture. Ara is a simple minded girl, with three brothers, and an illness—an illness that will lead her to Samuel.


Sorry, it's only a brief story about them (as always) but you can get to know them more : by reading it!
And this is the chapters, Happy Reading! 

1. Glance
2. Hunch
3. Innocence
4. Starting Line
5. Odd 
6. Friend
7. Uncertainty
8. It's gonna be Alright  
9. Rivalry
10. A Light that never goes out

*Ongoing*

Sorry, online reading is now closed for public !
(if you wanna read them so bad, simply PM us via twitter @monicarosellini / @fildzah_iazz)

Enjoy, everyone! Satisfaction guaranteed as always!

COMING SOON : REMEDIUM

Meminerunt omnia amantes

"Lovers remember all"

What if, one day... 

you are the one who hold the life of your lover?

 

Remedium

 New Project. New Story. New Challenge. New Lovers.

COMING SOON : REMEDIUM  

keep your eyes on us, everyone! 

Tinnitus Playlist

YAY FINALLY TINNITUS FINISHED!
 

Tinnitus

All we need to do is review it and it'll ready for the publisher :) hope us luck!
And here it's some playlist i use to get in the mood of Theo & Rev's, some are included on the chapter and some are just my own playlist :) Enjoy

Rev Severine : Painting with make up

Yay! Finally all examination are done! I'm so excited yet tense because the result is not officially out yet. It's 4 hours again to the final result, so.. better to do something (i hate waiting--without doing nothing)
Yesterday i was looking up for some new painting equipments, and it turned up i bought 24 pack finecolor for only 31US$, that one was a big deal. And i found some interesting equipment like panpastel, i never heard of it, but it seems it's already trending in America, England, etc.
I wanted to buy one, but.. well... the price is surprising (for me) it's 5US$ for only one color. Ugh. Maybe next time..

I'm in love with this

Then i got an idea, why don't you 'create' new equipments for painting?
And it ended up i painted using my make up (face powder, eyeshadow, etc) hahaha the result is a bit surprising anyway- it turned up really nice (i like the shading & the softness of the result)

Rev Severine

 Oh, and did i forgot to mention who's this girl? This is Rev Severine from our latest novel, Tinnitus. You can read it here :) She's the bipolar girl who got really nice platinum hair (oh yes, i adore her hair a lot)  I got the model of Rev Severine from a model named Ieva :D

painting with make up

Bad thing i don't have a lot of make up so i can't experiment with a lot of colour :-/

You should try by yourself :) It's fun and.. didn't cost a lot of money haha (please don't use any expensive make up for this experimental, you'll regret later)

Heta Doodle

Bored + Tired of lesson = Random doodle.

I doodled them on a piece of tissue -_- (too lazy to get a paper)

Lately i'm a big fangirl of Hetalia, specially England, Germany, Italy, Prussia and Egypt :3

i wanted to make a fanfict or mini comic strips but well, i have no idea what's the story will be..

PruHun

Arthur Kirkland

Endymion : The Graphic Novel

Exam is over!
Glad to know that i have so many times in this spring break!
I already have a lot of plan and one of them is 'resurrecting' Endymion to Graphic novel.
Not all of them.

Only some chapter :-)

This time i only work for the first chapter, but soon, they'll be much more :D

Oh, if you want to read more about 'em, just read the full story here : Endymion (novel)
Enjoy, Fellas!

Endymion pt.1

Endymion pt.2

Endymion pt.3

The Ultimate Survival for Zombie Apocalypse

Just choose your weapon !
long-ranged and light weapon are highly recommended considering one scratch of zombie on your skin can make you more prone to infection. Use guns only when it's needed, short distance attack better use something like swords or chainsaw.

What if you didn't have any weapon?

Be creative. Use household appliances, like knife, sickle, or anything that strong enough to kill the zombies. If you don't have any of them, just grab something that useful enough to protect yourself, example : baseball bat, etc. 

Find a Shelter. Build a barricade

When you hit on the road, just make sure before the night, find a perfect shelter so you didn't have to walk in the middle of the night with a bunch of walking (or even, running) zombies

Find Suvivors,  Join their group

Group are highly recommended as long as they don't harm you. You can always protect each other and group of survivor will help you stay calm and don't get depressed quickly.

Collect all the living need

Food, medicine, ammos, weapons, anything that important for you/your group.

Leave the land, Go sailing

Zombies can't swim. So yes, i guess you better find a yacht or a boat after collect all the living need and just go sailing. Plenty of fish in the sea, you can always collect mineral water from the rain, you'll get safe on the ocean. 

You can read any of  Max Brooks books (from the author of  'The Zombie Survival Guide') to help you understand more about zombie apocalypse.

So here is some weapon that's useful enough to fight the zombies :D

(fire element are not recommended because they can't kill zombies) except grenade or something that can cause big explosion :)

The Ultimate Survival for Zombie Apocalypse

Choose your weapon !

Meet the Guardians

 One cloudy day.

But that doesn't mean that i'm going to have a bad day in this one fine saturday.

Jack Frost

Instead of bad day, i am having a great movie experience with my friends.
Classes over after 9.30 so i guess, it's a lot of time before i took a math course, so yes, me and my friends came to my house.
I didn't have anything to eat at home so before we watch movies, we bought a lot of snacks and coffee. Wandi & Ifa bought spicy-tomato  noodles and  i bought cappucino with chocolate granule for this.. hot day.

The result is.. just terrible, but nice at the same time. Moist-cloudy day plus hot noodles and warm cappucino. I can't even think what make we bought all of this food without considering the weather. But anyway, it's not bad at all. At least, we're having fun, eh?

North

When we got back home, wandi keeps insisting me to play the thriller movies, while in the other side i rather choose 'Dear John' because i didn't see that movie, yet. Well, but it seems they don't insterest on any romance movie right now, so i guess the answer is still 'no'.

And at the end, she wins and we watched 'MAMA'.

It's the second time i watched this movie and still, i didn't know how people should call this a 'horror' movie, because it's not horror at all. Even, i dare to call this kind of movie is fantasy-slash-horror. It's just.. not.. scary at all.
And,.. they got the thrill for some scenes- eventhough they didn't seem as frightened as nina and tari -_-' (the first time i saw this was with nina and tari, and yes... they're even screaming for the 'mama' scenes. They keep covering their eyes with their hands.. while the other hand. i keep covering my ear so i didn't shock because of their screams)

Sandyman

It's eleven a.m. and we still got time. We keep deciding again on what movies we gonna watch. From Bright star,. then the perks of being wallflower, then dear John.. none of them was succeed enough to lur
e them. So then, my last weapon, Rise of the Guardians.
And yeah, it's work. (who the hell can refuse the sexiness of Jack frost, eh?)

At this time, wandi was too sleepy to watch the movies so she fall asleep soon after the movie begin (i knew, she's just a fluffy-lazy-little cat) while the rest of us, ifa, made and me (it's the third time for me) watched 'Rise of Guardians' with muse and wonder.

Bunnymund

At the end of the movies we also deciding who's look like this guardian and that guardian.


Wandi got Sandyman. because she's simply just so fluffy and she fall asleep quickly (which is really match with sandyman jobs as the 'guardian of dreams')

Ifa got Bunnymund. Not just because she's so spirited like bunnymund but it's also because she has that 'funny' side too (her 'another' side is more like it's when bunnymund become a little-fluffy-bunny heehehe)

Made got North. Hehe, i'm not gonna say because she's tall like North, (It is, actually) but it's more like.. because she knows about everything, she's curious and full of wonder, just like North.

While me, well.. i don't think i'm feminine and tender enough to be 'tooth' so i guess i'm jack frost (hehe). Guardian of Fun. Well, i think it's gonna be a fun one :-)
So here it is, i made it for them hehehe :D i hope they like it! :-)

Meet the Guardians :
Me (jack frost), Ifa (Bunnymund), Wandira (sandy), Made (North)

 I knew, this movie is damn too good for everyone. It's just.. reminding us how magical the world of childhood is.
It's just simply keep telling us to keep believe in the right and wonder.
Yes. Wonder. Just like what North said ;

"That is my center. It is what I was born with, eyes that have only seen the wonder in everything! Eyes that see lights in the trees and magic in the air. This wonder is what I put into the world, and what I protect in children. It is what makes me a guardian. It is my center, what is yours?"
                                                                                                                             - Nicholas St. North

 This is exactly what i want to keep as i am growing old day by days. Eyes that have only seen the wonder in everything. I wanted to keep using the magic- the magic in seeing everything and turn them into my magic too. The power of dreams, hope, fun, imagination and the childhood.

And that's why, everytime i finished this movie, at the end i will feel so.. moved. So i think it's very normal when i saw ifa and her eyes are already glistened with tears. Well, i guess it's not a cry (yet).


I will always hold it close to me heart. Because the guardians showed me the things I had forgotten.

New gadget : Fluxthea Headset

Fluxthea back again ! 

Yesterday i bought a new PC Headset from Philips that costs only for 29.9 US$

It's actually pretty cheap than the other series (considering the specification and the models too)

It's really lightweight and very clarity in sound. Well, I'm always a big fan of philips. I got a lot of them in my house. 

Not only its design that i love the most, but there's also 

a mini mic too in the headset (not really necessary, actually, but i didn't realize it before)

And here's the first reason why i buy this one :

Costumize your headset with your own pattern

Philips PC Headset SHM6110U/97

And here what i come first for my headset design :

Fluxthea.

I've been missing them for a long long time,

so that's why they got the first place in my headset design for this time :')

Yay ! Fancy Headset !

Flux & Althea : Lovely new headset

This made me a little bit mellow for a while, 

watching them together,.. 

(maybe that's why i drew them with a gloomy one)

but life doesn't stop for anybody.. so i must move on :')

Oh, anyway, i'm about to make a new story after the big-final-examination.

Probably after i finished 'De Komst' and everything :')

I hope everything works out well :D

Dressel, mysterious red haired girl

Last night, after i watched Quadrantic Meteor Shower

(and turns out the weather are bad in my city)

I dreamed a dream of this girl :

Dressel

Red Haired girl, Dressel

I have no idea who's she.

In my dream, i met her when she was picking something

(maybe moving out) from her house.

I saw her parents, and there she's, catching my glance.

And i knew, there's something.. that really.. *i can't explain*

I said, "you're very.. beautiful"

I don't know. It's just... really weird when i said that,

but then.. her cheeks turns out to red. She said, "Thank you"

And then,. i big noise coming..

it's like the ground shaking.

My brother keep yelling at me to runaway,

Her parents, dressel's parents keep yelling at me to stay away from her

And i thought a second, "Why? I did nothing"

My brother already turn the engine on, and i have to keep moving,

keep running from.. something that i didn't know what's that

And Dressel pulled me close.

I could see her eyes very unique.

Her eyes,. it's reddish brown. Just like brick colour.

But what's weird is..

Her right eyes.. the iris pattern is spiral.

Red and black.

And left eyes.. is just normal. Reddish brown.

Mysterious Red haired girl

Spiral

And she sticked her forehead to mine,

and saying something.

I didn't remember what's actually she's saying,

but i think she want me to keep running.

Running? From what?

Is this dream.. have any connection with.. that dream..

that Earl grey dream?

Earl Grey keep telling me the same saying..

Run.

well, for all of you who haven't read the previous dream, here it is:

289 days for earl (chapter 1)

26 february 2013 (chapter 2)

Are there any connection?

Seriously, i didn't make it,.. and honestly,.. i'm a bit afraid of this

I don't know somehow someway, i think there's a connection between this dream and my previous dream about earl grey...

And.. it's almost 2013.

It's only a time to know what's going happen on 26 february 2013 for me..