Impossibilities

I. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.  

II. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.  

III. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

- Arthur C. Clarke's Three Laws

What can we say about impossibilities? We believe some things, are not possible to happen or to do, but what do we know actually about impossibilities? Are they really not possible?

Recently i got a lot of things in my mind and i realized that, as we grow older, we tend to think something is easily misunderstood as impossible. We imagined, fantasized a lot of things back then, but then what happened when we're adult? I feel like sometimes i kind of lost. But then to realized that the thing i need to do is to re-think.

We know, as we grow older, things got complicated, but seriously if you think of it again, that's not the truth. The truth is everything is always complicated back then, and now. It's only a matter of how our perception sees them. As a kid, we didn't focus only on one thing, we saw things, but we saw whole-earthly.

We know as we grow older, we see things easily as impossible, but that's not the truth. To remind what Clarke's said in the three laws 'When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.' the question is, what makes them impossible? As myself, i often questioning myself, why did i kept stating something as impossible, but then we all know, the reason why we keep saying something impossible is because we're all scared.

We're all scared to something that we don't understand.

Maybe we're afraid to know the truth, or maybe we just too afraid to find the truth. Both of them are the same, but really, all we need is to keep aside of that thing in our mind. Even if you're afraid of it, just believe in the possibilities, even if you think it's not possible.

Maybe all you need is a little magic.

The Science of Interstellar

*contain spoiler*

I cannot say how fascinated i am by this movie, Interstellar but i can make sure that this movie probably is one of the greatest movie of this century. All the elements are just too great to be true, drama, graphic, special effect, story, and the most important is : the science behind it.

Since i was kid, i always fascinated by how amazing our universe is, and it is not rarely i have a lot of question about it, like : how does wormholes actually look alike? what happened if you entered the black holes? what is beyond the black holes? and so on. And Interstellar, answered it. I really cannot say how gratitude i am for this, specially when i found out that they use real equations.

What Lies Behind

Finally we're at the end of 2014, there's so much things and memories to treasure along this year. University memories are absolutely one of the best moments, i got into student council, running a fashion show competition with a super weirdo theme called 'dia de muertos', becoming the part of a crazy-wild-team of dekdok, sinking into the ocean of business because of all of it and so many more.

 I would call 2014 is a year of patience and learning all the things i never wanted to know before. I started learning about the thing that hasn't come to my mind after almost 6 year of hiatus (of loving someone, actually) and how to deal with them. And i called it my summer.

Summer is like reading the first page of nicholas spark's book. It was wonderfully written and too good to be true. It was sweet and all, but well, thing is sometimes always not like what it seems. One day, he just walked away, like summer leaving the year and at the very first day of autumn, he's completely gone. As for myself, i didn't regret a lot about summer, it's more like, he taught me how to cope with things i was afraid to face before.

And then, Autumn was always part of the falling memories. Remembrance is always the song of autumn, so i started remembering Abel like i used to, but soon to realize that i cannot do this anymore. And i was right in time to say that, and soon after i decided myself, his brother came in help for me to get his belongings to the garage. I might never recover from that scars, but to know that i finally close the book it just.. calms me down (even sometimes i cannot resist to remember it again and played his recording on my mind)

But here's the thing about life,

"if you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello"


And as for winter, it turns out behind the pale looking sky and the cold winter night, i found star. A bright star, it's such an irony since it took me so long to realize there's a fair star out there in the sky, but i'm glad that finally i could see it.

Short said, 2014 is awesome but 2015 has so much for me.

I cannot wait to see what happen next in this brand new year!

Dor

Things are getting better lately, i haven't complained much about life but more like accepting it. It's a good lesson, since complaining doesn't really solve anything better. And lately i found that letting go is actually one of probably the best decision i've made for S, i didn't have time to write this in my blog but here i am.
About a few weeks ago i got the opportunity to help his brother to open up and clean all his belongings, i got to say, it's not an easy job but i'd really love to open 'a little' memories. And for importantly, finding his personal journal he used to write back then. Everything was still in the same condition. Room, desk, bed, and..

 Piano.

As much as i know, the view of the unused, dusty piano he used to play is the one that totally wreck my heart. And suddenly what Haruki Murakami's said is true, 'Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.' Suddenly i have this uneasy, unexplained feelings. It's both of sad and that warm feeling. I somehow feel like i'm home for a long long time, but at the same time, i feel like there's a storm raging on inside my heart.

I cannot really say much what happened after that. Overflowing memories, i'd say. To not cry at that moment was probably too impossible. I can still remember there are a lot of his belongings that really reminds me a lot of him. Paperworks, doodles, books, novels, handwritings, and so on. 

I saw books and it reminds me of the time when he used to tell me things about history and freakish things.
I saw records and it reminds me of his piano playing, and how he gorgeously calmed and amused me with it.
I saw doodles and it reminds me of the time when we used to draw things continuously.
I saw his handwritings and it reminds me of the time when he used to write things, poetry, stories, letters as he silently listening to the pouring rain.

A rare pluviophile, a freak, nerd, wallflower, pianist, poet, romantic, brainiac that's what he is. 

Forbidden to remember and terrified to forget, I can only note that scars probably have the strange power to remind me that my past is the best memories and that they're sad,

because we all know that they'll never happen twice.

A Look in the Glass

Yesterday i have a vivid dream about a girl.
A Green-haired girl.
Yes, green.

I don't really remember how she looked like but i remember the colour of her hair, it was green, not anything like leaf, but more like.. lake. Maybe this kind of green (i'm not sure what is it called, but i think it's emerald green)

I don't always write about dreams but when i do, it's usually something that i need to remember or just because it's simply awesome. And also, i don't always write about my dreams simply because most of them are nightmares, well, lately. And last night's dream is none of the above. It's that kind of dream that puzzled you.

It's started about 9 pm (well, in my dream, i have a strong feeling that it is 9 pm), i was reading and i sat in the middle of my house. I guess no one is home because it was so quiet, i can hear the clock is ticking. Suddenly, i have the sense that tell me to look at the outside, i cannot explain it. It was raining outside, and i saw nothing. It was completely dark. I looked outside through my window, and suddenly i realized there's a girl.

That green-haired-girl. She looked so.. perfect (?) i don't know, my thought said it that time.
She's smiling and wave her hand at me, so i waved back. And then, i feel something in my hand, it was blood. I realized i have blood all over my body. But since i'm not that scared of blood and i'm getting used to this kind of scenario in my dreams (let's just say that i have so many nightmares before this until i get used to it) i'm just.. feeling alright.

And that girl didn't really say anything. She's just smiling, that kind of smile that makes you calm.
Then i hear piano play, and noticed that the green-haired-girl is only a reflection.
Yes, reflection in the glass. And definitely not mine.

It was so weird. Everything got back to normal when the green-haired-girl gone. And the piano play turn to the sound of the rain again.

Halloween Make-up Ideas

Halloween is coming near and have you prepared for everything?

Today i just rewatched The Purge : Anarchy and it's as good as the last time i saw it. If you haven't seen it, i do think that you need to watch it! The second The Purge is much much much better than the first, which is pretty weird for a sequel. But that's because the story expand, not only in one house, but explaining more what's going on actually when the purge is happened outside the house. It's thrilling and tense, and i really love how they made the plot. And plus, it has a good ending, you should watch it!

The Purge gave me so much inspiration for my halloween ideas, specially with the make up. It's scary and there's not a lot of effort to do. I have picked some make up ideas before, and it's involved with Kyary pamyu pamyu's and Us The Duo in Book of Life Soundtrack.

I know, i'm no good with make up, specially with pretty and all girly and kawaii make up, but when it comes to horror special effects (let's just say, like spooky make-up and zombies) i'm actually good at it. The last time i do that was for my friend's stage make up, and i turned her into a scary granny with a lot of wrinkles x'D (i know, i have a weird talent)

Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

 Kyary pamyu pamyu's make up definitely my first choice, specially because i can combine it with my seifuku and i'll added up with a devil headband :3 The second is carissa alvarado's make up from book of life soundtrack, it looks really good and fun to do! (i really love how she put up the bling bling stickers)

 And the third is from The Purge, which is actually cool and creepy (since both above is not that creepy compared to two below)

The Purge : Anarchy

There's still a lot ideas to do, but most of them are so difficult (like involved liquid latex, which is for now impossible to purchase it in here) and too risky. This time i want something that is simple but stunning and yet still have the creepy vibe :3

Unexpected

Finally haematology class is over. I don't hate it but maybe because after the long 3 months of holiday, my brain didn't get use to a long-almost-15-hours-class non stop with added hours of laboratory experiments  (yes, clinical pathology class is kind of new to us) I accepted that i didn't study well this time, and i accepted that i study all of them two days before the final examination, and it went pretty.. messed up. But hey, at least it's not as messed up as ObGyn class last time!

Life has been complicated lately. Yes, complicated.
Too much feelings involved and since i'm not used to it, i kind of didn't know what to do. People came and gave me opinions, but well.. it really didn't make it easier. I almost wish i could throw it all away like i used to, but this time, it won't go -Because deep in my brain, i know i won't let it go-


I'm trying to be sober, but everytime one thing related to this/him (yeaah, 'him') appeared for a second, they're flooded all over my head. Feelings and thoughts. I feel like i'm completely drunk. It's like everything is different, so different. I guess, everything what they said about 'when you're in love, every song sounds make sense' is right.

Of course this is not the first time to me. I've been trying to.. not feel (more precisely, avoid) to this kind of feelings almost for 5 years. I didn't say that i hate being in love, it just that.. i'm afraid of falling down. 

I write things, stories (well, most of them sad stories) but it seems that eventhough i wrote about morals and how you dealt with heartbreaks or deaths, it seemed that i do not understand it that much. Specially when i am the one in that position.

Althea from Endymion

 As what we wrote in Endymion, when Althea finally accepted that Flux really gone, she said

 "No matter how much you stretch your hand out, there’s something that you can’t touch"

 and i believe that she's true.  

There's something greater, something that cannot simply explained by logic, eventhough i know that such thing as emotions and feelings are controlled by our lymbic system. I can't just run away from all of these feelings, and avoid them. That'd make me as a coward. 
This time, i want to choose. I want to make my choice, and no matter what happened, i'll stood and face it. I didn't want to run away again.

 See? that's how i got really drunk this time, as you can see in my writing -__- i hate to say it. But well, i don't know what to do anymore. It's not that there'll be someone read this and give opinions, but sometimes there are times i just want to write things.

Oh, and also, beside that long useless-chit-chat of something 'blurry', i got a few song that stucks in my head and everytime i have a spare time, i just grabbed and sing it along with my ukulele, here's my recent playlist :

Everybody's Changing

La Vie en Rose (Christin Milloti ver.)

Creep

Summertime Sadness

Dear John

Perahu Kertas

High and Dry - Radiohead

Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner

Dekat di Hati - RAN

Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya - Tulus 

Adelaide Sky - Adhitia Sofyan

I don't always listened to Indonesian music but when i do, that means it is really good x) Both for Tulus and RAN are really good, i'd give them 4.5 of 5 since i love all of their music. You should try to listen it to!