Hi!
And here we go again, with the yearly self-reflection (and memory journalling), for those of you who are new here, don't bother reading this xD because this blog, by now, is supposed to be for me lol (no, really, i still wrote it here just because... it's becoming a tradition for me).
This year i turned 30.
God, what a life. I think by the time you turned 30, everything feels like rushing back to your memory. You're halfway through your life, and in 30 years I will be 60, and I will be veeery old (if I am blessed to be that old). But right now, 30, it feels so... weird to me in a way I cannot explain. I used to be scared going 30, mostly because I don't feel like I did anything significant (house? family? marriage? work? education?), but now that I'm here, it feels so unknown. Like going autopilot, but yet you want to take the steering wheel.
But I think that what scared me the most is never about the wrinkles, or other extravagant things, but more about being scared seeing your loved ones getting older too. Time flies so fast; I feel like I was only 18 yesterday, but now I'm here. I'm scared of the moment that is fleeting away, but that's just how life is, right?
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| Tabebuya hanami with ditto feels~ |
This year, it feels weird in a way. Actually, I think for the first time after a long time being static, I wanna do something to improve my life. I was accepted for postgraduate study, and next year, hopefully, I will get to continue my studies abroad! I also started a business with my bf by the end of the year, and I hope that it will go smoothly since we're planning to make a profit to fund our future hehe.
2025 also a year of heartbreak since months before gashuku (training) i have a somekind of problems with the club i was in and after that, i decided to stop (with lots of tears) because what once i really enjoyed became so uncomfortable and i develop hatred into it. It took months to finally recovered, but then in the end it became so clear that i was never the problem, and that no matter how much someone tried to hide their manipulation, it will be shown off in the end anyway (iykwim).
Other than that, this year is pretty colourful. I travelled to another city twice this year, once with my bestfriend mira (we travelled to jakarta-bandung to get our IELTS exam, it was soo adventurous) and the second time is with my family to Bogor (we finally get to visit kebun raya, it was so pretty! i wish it wasn't that hot lmao and i wish we could spend more time there). Oh and what makes 2025 even more colourful is i finally joined that shooting club! I got to take basic class before they disbanded BUT we still regularly trained together every sunday morning, it was so fun and also i bought my first glock 17 (named him Riley ofc). This year i also spent more time with my parents, we regulary go outside (just in the city) to hang out at severa cafes and every tuesday we hang out in barajawa cafe to do my essay lol
So... that's that for 2025. It was closed with a fun, exciting new year party with my former swordclub friends + a farewell because i probably won't be able to participate in 2026 and plus, some of my friends will be too busy and some is moving out of town.
But hey, i was so glad that i live in that moment, cherishing, enjoying and having fun as i can. Hopefully we get to meet again in the future or i hope i get to meet another exciting friends/group that feels like a family.
Honestly, i cannot wait for 2026. I just have a great sense that it's gonna be a great year with lots of new adventures!
Until next time,
Mon.
